Note to Hayley

Put that Apple Watch down. You do not need to check your heartbeat.

You agreed to the rules of this site previously. You can't go against the word of the site.

Eat a Bounty.

We both like ASMR: you'll disagree, you'll refuse to believe, but you do.

There's a girl on TikTok who does ASMR, you like her.

There's also some Scouse drama going on in TikTok world at the moment. You're entraced.

You've realised that these TikTokers are essentially running a modern-day reality show. They've become sensations utilising their evergrowing popularity: broadcasting themselves live and playing to the same tried-and-tested reality show format you've seen a million times. Is it really such a wild idea that they're actors, just like you've seen before? You still enjoy it, though. You just have a feeling that a production company may be behind all of it. They're all actors, it's all a script.

I don't know where your ice cream has gone, I'm sorry. All I can advise is that next time we do a shop prior to this so that you have everything you need.

A Magnum Mini has sufficed.

It's an Aldi one.

Sorry, Magnum.

“I like Wham Bar's.”

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